Insights on Hoarding
March 15, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Last night I made my television debut on the premiere episode of TLC’s Hoarding Buried Alive. It was pretty exciting to see the progress that Laurie (the client) and I had made in such a short time! I’ve received lots of notes from you guys and one in particular got me thinking about the lesson in this show for those of you who are not struggling with a severe hoarding problem.
First, it’s important to point out that lots of us struggle with acquiring and hoarding issues to varying degrees. I’ll be the first to admit that I love fine paper. If I didn’t monitor myself when it comes to buying note cards, I’d have a room full of them by now.
A former client, Lori, sent a note reminding me that when we worked together she struggled with Christmas cards. She kept every Christmas card she received regardless whether there was a personal note included or not. We worked through the cards and she was able to let some go, but she never really understood why she wanted to keep the cards in the first place.
Pam, a hoarding client, had some more difficult issues. She was a diagnosed hoarder and experienced some seemingly irrational attachment to several categories of paper. She wanted to keep anything that had to do with children, church, her birthday and a few others. In this case, we came up with a system to organize the paper into boxes.
These three examples illustrate very different issues, but all boil down to something in the person’s mind compelling them to keep Christmas cards or telling them they can never have too many note cards. I say this a lot, but it’s just so true. Getting organized and clearing clutter is very rarely about the stuff. It’s most often about what’s going on between your ears. Mindset and sometimes psychological issues that are not so easy to change come into play almost every time.
So, what are the lessons from the show?
1) Evaluate how your clutter problems might be affecting others. We saw relationships being tested by the hoarding issues faced by the folks featured on the show last night. What is your situation?
2) If you’re having trouble going through things and letting them go, listen to what you’re telling yourself about the item. On the show, Laurie said that if the therapist threw away a doll she had given him, she would feel that he didn’t like her very much. It had nothing to do with the doll itself.
3) Get help if you need it. Seek out help from someone with no attachment to the situation. Often folks look to family members, but that’s not usually the best idea. Family members and friends can be really judgmental and can sometimes make the situation worse. Not trying to be mean here, just being honest.
Those of you not struggling with these issues so much are probably feeling much better about your own situation. That’s ok. You need to feel good about yourself! Not at the expense of others of course, but very often people calling me for help are embarrassed and ashamed because they think their situation is the worst I will ever see. More than likely, it’s not.
I hope you guys were able to watch the show. I had a lot of fun working with Laurie and I am so proud of her for all the hard work she did and is still doing to change her life.
So, what do you think?
Leave your comments or questions below. I’d love to hear what you think!
TLC Hoarding Buried Alive Appearance
March 15, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Just a quick note to let you all know that I will be appearing on the premiere episode of a new TLC show called Hoarding Buried Alive. The show will air at 9PM Central on March 14. I hope that you can check it out!
Do You Love Your Stapler?
February 10, 2010 | Leave a Comment
In my last post, we discussed how to evaluate your systems to find out if they are working for you, or if you need to make some adjustments. One segment of that process is to evaluate your tools to find out if you like them. While working with a coaching client a few weeks ago, I discovered how truly valuable and overlooked this piece of the process is.
While chatting with her about the folders she intended to use for her file system, she mentioned that she needed to find them, but she didn’t like them very much. The statement that she didn’t like the folders immediately sent up a red flag.
Often when people are purchasing tools to support their systems or new organizing projects, they tend to buy whatever is readily available without really putting much thought into whether they actually like the tool or not. For example, basic green hanging folders are widely available at office product stores, but you may not like the color.
When systems are set up with items like this, that aren’t very appealing to you, more than likely, you will not be very excited about using them. As simple and maybe a little silly as this may seem, choosing tools that are aesthetically pleasing increases your chances of using them!
If you love beautiful office tools, try SeeJaneWork.com for aesthetically pleasing items. I have developed quite a fan base for this site among my clients and audiences! The larger chains have also introduced some items that are both functional and beautiful. Remember that your tools need to be functional as well. You don’t want to sacrifice function for beauty, but there are resources for finding tools that have the complete package!
So, as you are setting up new systems and looking at the tools you have chosen, ask yourself if you really love these items. Do you enjoy looking at your files or stacking trays? Do you really love that stapler you’re using? Examining all these details and making adjustments where necessary will help to ensure that you are on your way to having a functional system that you love!
Happy Organizing!
Ellen
Will Your New Year’s Resolution Stick?
January 10, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Each year getting organized and being more productive top the lists of New Year’s Resolutions. It’s exciting to imagine your life without paper piles and clutter consuming your office. And it certainly would feel great to accomplish your goals each day. Time after time I hear the same complaint. You started off great then something happened and the system fell apart. Often people give up at this point calling their systems and themselves failures.
They key to getting organized is first and foremost not to give up after the first little mishap. We all get overwhelmed, have a big project, or life circumstance that causes us to get off track. Rather than give up just start again! It’s really that easy.
Sometimes the systems that we try don’t really work for us and it’s important to be able to identify what went wrong. Starting over with a system gives you the opportunity to really observe what the problem is and to make adjustments as necessary. You may find that you really don’t like the folders you used to set up your action system. Or maybe your desk isn’t set up in a functional way. Look at your system with a critical eye rather than just throwing your hands up and declaring it a disaster!
Here are some things to look for when evaluating your system:
1) Do I have all the tools I need?
2) Do I like the tools I am using?
3) Can I find the documents and files I need when I need them?
4) Are things I use often readily available and accessible?
5) Can I easily reset the system when needed?
Remember, systems only work when you use them! Very few organizing systems work without some effort on the user’s part. Set up maintenance routines to be sure that you are keeping up with filing and other similar tasks.
If you would like to get 2010 and the new decade started off right and need a little help, I am offering a very special discount on my Conquer Chaos VIP Coaching Program. The first 10 readers to sign up for two months of coaching will get a complimentary third month! Visit www.anewleafpo.com/conquerchaosVIP to learn more about the program. To take advantage of the complimentary month, enter the coupon code HOLIDAY at check out.
I would like to thank all of you for reaading and for supporting my business over the years. I wish all of you a very Happy New Year!
Happy Organizing!
Is Your Electronic Information Out of Control?
December 2, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Searching your computer for a proposal you wrote three months ago? Or maybe you are looking for an email that you just know you sent to a client in June. If your email and computer files aren’t organized, you could be losing a lot of precious time searching for your electronic information.
Think of electronic files just the same as ordinary paper files in a file cabinet. A computer file system can be set up in the same way as paper files are set up. Create folders and subfolders for the files and be consistent in your naming scheme.
When saving documents be sure to click “Save As” and then navigate your way to the appropriate folder for that document. This will keep the document from going to that mysterious place that computers sometimes send our documents when we don’t specify exactly where we want them saved.
Put thought into naming your files and be descriptive. Take advantage of the 255 character limit on file names. Use descriptive words that will ensure you know what the file contains. Think about the different ways that you might think of the file the same as you would for physical files. If you are saving a budget form, when you are looking for it again, what will you look for?
Think of all of the possibilities and name your file accordingly. Taking this much time to think about it on the front end will also help to trigger your memory when looking for the file later.
If you don’t have time to create folders and move files around, your computer’s search tool can help. Search features in newer versions of Windows are much more efficient than they have been in the past. Tools like Google Desktop can also make finding documents on your computer faster and easier.
How to Stop Wasting Time Now
September 28, 2009 | Leave a Comment
“Waste Time Faster.” This is a phrase on a billboard advertising high speed internet. I laugh each time I see it, but it also makes me think about how much time we do waste on the internet. Playing around online is just one of many activities we use to avoid getting things done. Of course, the things we are avoiding are usually things that may be difficult or not so pleasant.
Avoidance behavior is a component of procrastination. Some causes of procrastination are task related anxiety, fear of failure, perfectionism, and lack of knowledge. When you think about that it’s no wonder we find such creative ways to avoid tackling those tasks. Imagine that you have agreed to take on a new project at work. You are pretty excited because you know that the success of this event will have a positive impact on your career. Once the excitement wears off a little, you realize there are some pieces of this project that you aren’t quite sure how to get complete. Each time you sit down to get started on the project, you feel overwhelmed or don’t really know where to begin. So, what do you do? Maybe you start some project related research on the internet. Then you remember that you really wanted to check out the scores from Sunday’s football games. Ladies, your example might be a little different, but I think you know where I’m going with this. As you check out the football scores, you see a link to a video of a spectacular play. You proceed to watch the video and see some other videos that look interesting. An hour later, you’ve caught up on all the football scores, watched some re-plays, and maybe a few hilarious videos of kids dancing to “booty” music. It’s time for lunch so you head out the door having accomplished nothing related to the project.
Does that sound remotely familiar to anyone? I will be the first to admit that I do this very thing when I am doing something new or something that might push me a little outside my comfort zone. But we also use these techniques to avoid everyday tasks. Here are three steps to help minimize your task avoidance time wasters.
Three steps to curbing avoidance behavior
1) Awareness is the first step in changing any behavior. If you recognized yourself in the example and you want to change this behavior, pay attention to what avoidance behaviors you are engaging. Surfing the internet is just one form of avoidance behavior. Some other examples are watching television, reading magazines, hallway conversations with colleagues, checking email. To be clear, none of things is necessarily bad, but when used to avoid other, more important tasks, they will kill your productivity. Identify your avoidance techniques.
2) Minimize distractions. Once you have identified your avoidance behaviors, it’s important that you come up with strategies to reduce the likelihood that you will engage them. My top two avoidance behaviors are checking email and internet surfing. When I need to work on important project it’s best that I am in an environment where the internet is not available. Or the connection is so slow that it’s annoying! I have also discovered that I work best away from my home office and in a place with something pleasing to look at. Those of us working from home have so many potential distractions. Laundry, dishes, kids, spouses, and pets. It’s really helpful to find a place that allows you to concentrate. So, what can you do to minimize your distractions?
3) Get things done. Finally, get it done! Sometimes tasks seem a lot more difficult that they really are. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how much you will get done when you minimize your distractions and truly focus on the task at hand.
I hope this information helps you to get more done this week! Remember that the objective is not to cram your life with “things to do”, but to get things done in less time so that you can spend more time enjoying your life!
Does it make you feel good or does it make you feel bad? by Ellen Martin
June 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Getting organized often requires taking a hard look at the things, paper, “stuff” and time commitments, that are in your environment, and deciding what will stay and what will go away. This is a tricky issue since it’s sometimes really difficult to let go of things whether you like them or not.
I realized that it really comes down to one simple question. Does the thing make you feel good or does it make you feel bad? This can be applied to absolutely everything! Here are some examples:
Going through paperwork you find material from a project you wanted to do a few years back. Does the sight of that paper make you feel good or bad? You may be feeling guilty or annoyed with yourself that you didn’t do something you set out to do. Or you might feel excited because you had forgotten about something that brought you so much joy.
You are asked to plan an event for one of the organizations you are involved with. Do you really want to do it? Does the thought of it make your stomach sick and cause anxiety? Or do you feel happy to help because you love event planning and have a passion for the organization?
The key here is paying attention to how you feel and what you really want. Honestly, we women don’t pay attention to ourselves nearly as much as we ought to. We are often focused on the needs, wants, and happiness of those we care about. Of course, this is important and necessary, but it’s also so important for us to be happy as well. How can we really support the happiness of others if we aren’t happy?
When faced with decisions about time commitments, things you are keeping in your space, relationships you are developing, take a moment to pay attention to how you really feel about it. Your decision will serve you in the long run. Your life will be filled with things that you really love and that make you really happy!
Ellen Martin
Organizing Your Space. Simplifying Your Life.
www.organizationalexperts.com
